Reading under pressure

I'm behind on my goal. Objectively, I've still read a lot so far this year, and my ~being behind schedule~ is still dozens more than others have read in sometimes years. That's not a flex, I'm not being a dick, it's just true. And despite what people think, I'm not at all judging anyone who ~only~ reads one book a year. A book read is reading. That person is just as much of a reader as I am.

The pressure I put on myself, however, is obstructive. I can write this and I can know it, but I'm still doing it to myself. I think I've viewed Being A Voracious Reader as such a big part of who I am as a person that I'll feel like I'm letting people down if I "fail" at my goal.

I honestly enjoy being the person people think of when they're talking about books, when they see memes about reading, when they've finished something and want to recommend it to someone. Being associated with something so amazing is gratifying, and if I'm being frank, flattering. I like being the first person someone thinks of in relation to a good book, just like I like being a person someone thinks of in relation to feminism.

I'm trying to take it easy on myself, I'm not forcing myself to finish reading books that just aren't doing it for me. There is room on my DNF list.

But I'm on a STREAK, and I CAN'T QUIT. I have either met or surpassed my reading goal for the last five years, since I started religiously tracking my reading on goodreads. I think I spend more time on goodreads than I do on Facebook or twitter.

Right now I'm reading Great Expectations, a book I haven't read since I was a kid; it was one of my favourites and it holds up. I have a bunch of books due for review from Edelweiss+ and NetGalley that I really need to get to, and hopefully I'll love some of them and they'll get me out of my "slump."

Regardless, I have to stop kicking my own ass for things that aren't actually problems. Wish me luck, I guess.