Jessica Darling is Talking to Us.

I received a copy of the audiobook for free from NetGalley and Macmillan Audio in exchange for an honest, voluntary review.

It's the 20th anniversary of the release of Sloppy Firsts by Megan McCafferty, and as such, they entire series is being re-released with new cover art and in audio for the first time. The series is about a girl named Jessica Darling and follows her from 15 to 25.

image from author website

I first read the series right after the last book was released, Perfect Fifths, in 2009. I remember liking them quite a bit, and I still have them on my bookshelf, but I haven't revisited them in ages.

I was approved to listen to the audiobook of Second Helpings by NetGalley and Macmillan audio. Now, I'm not the kind of person who can just pick up book 2 without reading everything else in chronological order (much to my dismay), so I grabbed a copy of the audiobook for Sloppy Firsts from Scribd (see bottom of post!) to refresh my memory, and I was pleasantly surprised. The afterword to the new edition of the first book talks a lot about the changes that were made in order to have the writing pass muster now. There's less "slut"-shaming and less fatphobia, but it still maintains its early-aughts feel. It's like a perfect time capsule for me personally; these characters are about 3 years younger than I am. I relate.

Here's the thing: Jessica Darling is a self-absorbed asshole. She's judgemental, kind of mean, self-entitled, arrogant, condescending, misogynistic, and shallow.

And it's completely authentic.

I think every teenage girl has to go through the gauntlet of being a complete dick in order to best become a decent person as an adult. There are other books (looking at you, To All the Boys I've Loved Before series) that have detestable characters who everyone seems to love despite them being terrible (seriously, Lara Jean is The Worst), but there's something in the way Jessica Darling is written that implies a self-awareness, at least on the part of the author. I could be giving McCafferty too much credit but I don't think I am.

The books are written in the loose form of journal entries or letters to Hope Weaver, Jessica's best friend who moved across the country before the the first book starts. We never actually hear from Hope until Second Helpings when Jessica re-caps a conversation for her journal.

My conclusion: we are Hope. We are the off-page best friend of our selfish MC as she deals with every boy loving her except the one she really wants (spoiler alert, he's gay), her virginity, staying the smartest girl in class, and figuring out what she wants to do with her life; you know, teenage girl shit. We are going to judge her and want to pick up the phone and ream her out for her decisions as adults, but the point is that in her world, we are in the same boat, and it's a great reminder.

A lot of Jessica's behaviour had me rolling my eyes, but it was often in embarrassment. No 15/16-year-old girl has the knowledge she's being a total jerk to everyone around her until she's like, 25. (The Little Mermaid, anyone?) I. Can. Relate.

You know you're getting old when you re-watch and roll your eyes so hard at that line, while when you were watching the movie at 7 you were going, "YES. TELL HIM."

Unfortunately, the re-release of Second Helpings didn't address the bigger issues in the book that were addressed in Sloppy Firsts. There is a LOT of calling girls "bitches and skanks" and "whores" and a whole bunch of fat-shaming of Sarah (who is ostensibly anorexic) while those were edited out of the re-release of book 1. I'd actually completely forgotten about that ~aspect~ of Jessica's character, and since book 1 was tidied up, it was incredibly jarring and inconsistent.

Old-timey Jessica Darling also had a race and homophobia problem, but thankfully those were caught. There will be people who read the books as adults when they came out and hate them; this is fair. I was very young when I read them the first time and still unlearning my shitty social conditioning, so I have a soft spot for them.

I will keep listening to the audiobooks as they're released and will likely not read ahead with the hard copies. I want what I remember to remain pure.

I really really enjoy the narrator, Katie Schorr. I looked and I don't think I've ever listened to her narrate anything before, but she's excellent at capturing the teen girl attitude and vocal sneering without being overwrought, and her portrayal of male characters isn't gross and offensive. The male characters often are though, don't get me wrong. Teenage boys, eugh.

If you remember liking them when they came out, you will like the new editions. If you haven't read them, wait for all of the new editions to be released (ongoing until the end of 2021) rather than finding the old versions to see what's up.

If you'd like to try 60 days of Scribd for free, click here! You will gain access to books, audiobooks, podcasts, sheet music, magazines, and other documents and in my opinion, it's a stellar service. Also included with a Scribd membership is full, premium-level access to these other services! I use Mubi and CuriosityStream ALL. THE. TIME.